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Toxic Love: Why I Choose My Own Love

It’s funny how everyone would think your relationship is ideal just because you wear matching outfits, attend events together, have saved each other as “LOML,” and never miss photoshoots.

What makes it even worse is that you give the best relationship advice; everyone runs to you because they have this assumption that you have the ideal relationship.

That you are the girl who got the man she always dreamed of. Lol, this was what everyone thought about me three years ago.

During my first long vacation as a freshman, having grown up in a strict family back in the village, I had little exposure and relationships experience.

I had no experience in life; I had never been to the City before admission to the University. Deciding I had had enough of the village, I decided to stay at my brother during the long vacation and secured a job as a receptionist in a restaurant in the City.

Toxic Love: Why I Choose My Own Love

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This is where I met my ex, a handsome, tall bearded guy with a sexy beard and the best smile I had ever seen. He was charming and soft-spoken, and a week after getting the job, we were already friends.

Coming from a conscientious and strict Christian family, I am not the type that throws caution to the air. So I decided to take things slowly and see if we would become anything more than friends.

I later learned that the restaurant belonged to his dad, which means we could sneak out whenever we wanted and go for long drives, watch the movies or grab ice cream; he was the ideal guy; mature, understanding, and loving ( at least this is what I thought of him at first).

Toxic Love: Why I Choose My Own Love

Three months after getting the job, we had already made plans for me to move to his apartment; my brother was not for the idea, but I couldn’t listen to him; I was in love, and nothing was going to come in the way of our love.

It did not take me too long to notice that my ‘ideal man’ was a narcissist; he was self-centered, always wanted everything to be about him, possessive, and super manipulative.

We often got into fights because I could not agree with what he thought was best for us; he made excuses for several things and always wanted me to understand his perspective.

Things escalated super first, from verbal abuse to physical abuse. I had decided to live the relationship dozens of times, but I couldn’t; whenever he was romantic, he always went the extra mile, making me feel wanted and important.

I was attached to the care, the attention, and being the perfect couple; I could never handle the thought of being alone. My best friend Lydia felt that the relationship was toxic, and I should end it, but I wouldn’t make that call.

After seeking counseling, my ex-boyfriend change for a couple of days and went back to his old habits; this time, he almost stabbed me with a knife because I couldn’t view things from his perspective.

This was the awakening call I needed; it was time to choose me. Though it has not been easy, I finally left the toxic relationship that everyone thought was ideal; at times, I am tempted to give in to his pleas, but then I always remember; Choose yourself!!!

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