So you married the man of your dreams, but with this dream comes a nightmare attached in the form of his mother.
The classic trope of the mean old “mother-in-law” is not as rare as you may think it is!
Narcissistic Mother-In-Laws can be a NIGHTMARE made manifest in our reality!
They can truly make your relationship with your husband unbearable at times — so unbearable that you may even consider divorce!
If the relationship with your mother in law is getting worst as the years go by, you may want to try implementing one of the following below!
- 1 5 Ways To Handle Your Narcissistic Mother In Law
5 Ways To Handle Your Narcissistic Mother In Law
1 – Setup Boundaries Between You, Her, and Your Hubby
This is a MUST FOR ANY RELATIONSHIP that you engage in!
Boundaries are crucial for maintaining a healthy relationship. The moment you allow anyone to walk all over you one time, that opens the door for them to do it again and again!
By setting up boundaries, letting your husband know, as well as your mother-in-law, what you will not tolerate you let them know what you will not put up with.
This may seem harsh — but in order to have a healthy relationship with her, and to keep your relationship strong with your husband, you must be the mother and women that you want your child to look up to!
You are suppose to be family, not enemies!
2 – Know That She Sees You As COMPETITION
Now, despite the fact that you are suppose to be family and not enemies, initially most mother-in-laws will not be so thrilled to have their son taken away from them!
This is not always selfish but just a motherly instincts.
However, with narcissistic mothers, they can take this to the extreme. Understand that she will see you as a threat to her relationship with her son.
It is important to NOT take anything too personal.
To show her any signs of anger, frustration, and resentment will give her all the fuel she will need to keep poking and pressing you more.
She will use these signs as an opportunity to force you to attack or lash out at her to make you seem like the bad guy!
Know this and you can better prepare yourself for any future attacks!
3 – Understand That She May Be Stuck In Her Ways: Don’t Try And Change Her
Like the adage goes, “a dog stuck in their ways can never learn new tricks“.
Narcissistic people never really grow up, and there is really next to nothing that can change these people for the better!
If you have tried your very best and see that nothing you do is good enough…ACCEPT IT!
Now, I know this sounds absurd, but what this shows the narcissistic is that you are DONE trying to make them like you.
What you need to understand about narcissist is that they need attention and validation.
By you not trying to change them and get them to like you, what you do is show them, “If who I am is not enough, then I will not give you anything.”
For people who need attention, this is a crushing blow to their ego and self-esteem.
Now this is a gamble, as they may use this against you and complain to your husband that you don’t make the effort to make them like you.
Use this at your own discretion!
4 – Try No Contact
No Contact is the BIGGEST BLOW to a narcissist! This is basically you having NO INTERACTION with the narcissist at all!
If your acts of engagement were shot down, your desire to connect with them on an emotional level spat on, and/ or your attempt to reason with them got you nowhere — then sad to say, NO CONTACT may be the best thing to do.
Now, if you have kids, this may not be that easy, as the mother-in-law will most likely talk badly to your kids about you.
Keep this in mind!
5 – Consider Therapy Or Reaching Out To Counseling
Lastly, if all of these fail and you see your marriage crumbling and falling apart because of the mother-in-law, consider counseling!
Sometimes having a bias look at your relationship and situation can give you a better perspective on how you should handle this situation!